Dare To Be Aware | Detox Your Mind | Alternative Lifestyle

Fear of rejection, a result of being treated with conditional love

Posted by Viola Woolcott

Most of us know the the most major stress factor in our lives is fear of being rejected or fear of being critisized.

We are overly concerned about the approval of other people or maybe even the disapproval of our work collegues or bosses, which in turn causes the fear of rejection. We learn to be fearful of being rejected from early childhood. Fear of rejection manifests itself as a result of us being treated with ‘conditional love’.

We have to rise above the need for approval of anyone. We all know the scenario when we were small and we did something that pleased our parents. Than they showered us with love and approval. We have grown into adults with conditional love and now we seek unconditionl love from others. The need for childhood approval is haunting all our life, from our workplace to friends to relationships. Us as adults become preoccupied with the opinions of others. Pre-occupation leads to obsession. We try to perform to high standards of others.

Researchers found this behaviour in about 60% of men and 30% of women, from mild forms to extreme cases. They put so much pressure on themselves to please everyone that they burn themselves out. It’s causing so much stress that they often die by the time they are 55. It’s a behaviour that is triggered by the known feeling of conditional love in childhood. In the States it is a very serious stress-related condition.

The good news is that the fear of disapproval, critisizm and rejection can be changed.

We have to become aware and accept that the opinion of others isn’t important enough to make us feel so concerned, unhappy and stressed. Who cares? If people dislike you, it’s their problem. Your personal worth and value has nothing to do with them.

Refuse to be the victim. Refuse to be over concerned. Stop dwelling on what people might think about you. Fact is that people are not even thinking about you. Get on with your life. Be yourself and be free of the opinion of others. As I already said, it is their problem.

Filed under: Mind | Body | Spirit on December 5th, 2011 | No Comments »

Practise Forgiveness and Stop Being the Victim

Posted by Viola Woolcott

No doubt, we have all been hurt in the past, maybe are at present and most of us will even be in the future. Be it by action or words of someone else. How about your mother? She may have criticized your lifestyle? How you bring up your children? Or that work collegue who just can’t stop criticizing the way you work. The way you dress. There is always something to criticize and it gets you down. What about your partner who makes you feel as if you are good enough for nothing?

You can’t help it, you dwell on it. You silently hurt. It’s like an open wound left with feelings of anger. You feel like a zombie. And than there it is, the feeling of bitterness and you can’t think of anything else but ‘sweet’ revenge.

You are paying the price. And here is my suggestion!! How about if you take charge and change the way you think? How about practising forgiveness and not longer being the ‘victim’? Forgiveness leads you down another path. The path of emotional, physical and also spirituell freedom and well-being.

But…. Forgiveness, what is it?

Forgiveness is being at Peace.
Forgiveness is the conscious decision to let go.
Forgiveness is letting go of resentment.
Forgiveness is letting go of revenge.
Forgiveness is a journey to freedom.
Forgiveness is a healer.
Forgiveness frees you from being a prisoner of your own mind.

The hurt you might feel may remain with you for some time, or even for the rest of your life, but by forgiving you stop dwelling on the act that may have offended you or hurt you so deeply that you are holding onto it instead of focusing on other positive and lovely things in your life. Forgiveness leads to empathy, to understanding and for feelings of compassion.

Don’t get me wrong, but by practising forgiveness, you don’t ignore, minimize, justify or take away the responsibility from the other person who has offended or hurt you.

Forgiveness brings peace into your life, without excusing the act of the other person.

>

Filed under: Mind | Body | Spirit on December 4th, 2011 | 1 Comment »

Hospitals should be role models for healthy eating and not sell junk food

Posted by dare2baware

It’s quite common to find food bars, restaurants and also cafe’s in hospitals. Not surprising that they are leading patients to grab a burger and fries whilst passing and giving them the view that they are being healthy. Pure junk!

We are facing an obesity epedemic among young people. So wouldn’t one hope that the trend would change? No — it persists.

Hospitals are definately not a ‘role’ model for adults, let alone kids theses days when it comes to healthy eating. Did you know that only 7% of the people who are admitted in selected hospitals are classed as “healthy”?

14 food venues at 12 of the biggest hospitals have been assessed by researchers from UCLA and the RAND Corporation. They found that there was a lot of room for improvement and that not only in their offerings, but also in their practices.

200 hospitals with pediatric residency programs where surveyed. Of the 200 hospitals, 59 had a fast-food restaurant on site.

Interviewing the patients as well as family members it was established that more than half of them had been to the fast-food outlet and ate fast foods during the day of survey. That is four times as many people at a hospital without a fast-food outlet.

Health professionals understand the connection between healthy eating and health, so this is beyond me really. Shouldn’t they be a bit more of a role model in this case? Obvious really that the food on offer is even worse in many hospitals (don’t some go there to get better?) than it is in any fast-food restaurant. Alarming to say the least!

Hospitals have a measuring system. An assessment tool for rating foods that are on offer in hospital cafeteria.

The system takes into account the pricing, the availability of vegetables, labeling of nutrition, healthy drinks asnd combo promotions.
Now, from 0 to 37 with 0 being the least healthy and 37 being the healthiest, the system found an average of 19.1 score for 14 hospitals food venues. 359 hospitals were monitored and there were only 7% of hospitals that were classed as ‘being healthy’. Most hospitals offer alternatives. But looking deeper, not even one third of them showed nutritional info or even promoted them as being healthy. SHOCKING! And this is in hospitals where we turn to when we need to be healthy.

Another few things to think about. Most hospitals only offer low fat or skimmed milk and DIET soda. (Full of Aspartame – YUK!!) And how about the high calorie, high sugar ice cream as well as cookies right next to the till, so you quickly grab one before you pay. The list is endless.

After a great number of surveys and research, things did improve in certain hospitals. They have improved. They have taken steps to reduce unhealthy offerings on their shelves. Fried foods have been eliminated. Salad prices have gone down and the prices for all these sugary drinks have gone up drastically or the items have disappeared altogether from the outlets.

It’s encouraging to see that some of the hospitals are improving ad their list of junk food has gone down. So there is hope that the medical establishments do care about us or is it because they have been pressureized?

To me it’s simple enough. Hospitals can improve their food choices and what they give to their patients and therefore to their families. Hospitals have to be kind of ‘role models’ for healthier eating, don’t you think? Or how else can we improve our health with food in our own community? Not to forget helping children in the prevention of health related chronic diseases due to their diets!

Filed under: Dare 2B Aware on December 4th, 2011 | No Comments »

Carob, the perfect chocolate substitute

Submitted by Hayley Parfeit

Carob is one of my favourite raw food ingredient. I use it for my deserts and also my smoothies. It pretty much works with everything as an alternative for chocolate. Personally I love it!

Carob is moving forward. It is used as a substitute for chocolate in the raw food world. It taste very similar to chocolate but doesn’t have all of the side-effects that chocolate has. Therefore it makes it more than perfect as a chocolate substitute in your favourite receipes. I promise you, no one will even notice the difference.

There are a lot of chocolate addicts out there. Most love chocolate tastes. Very few of us are aware of the impact chocolate can have on us and how it makes us feel afterwards. Many of us are familiar with:

Sluggishness — Tiredness — Bloating – and than there is the caffeine ‘jitters’.

Chocolate is a quick fix which drops you quickly afterwards. And than there is the weight gain, which may even make some of us feel guilty.

The thing is, cacao (raw chocolate), which is healthy, but it’s so bitter in its pure form that lots of sugar is added and/or even processed sweeteners. And we better not mention the hidden fats and most of the time artificial flavours are added to chocolate. Well, they have to to make them palatable fo you somehow.

You don’t have to worry about all of the above with Carob. Carob is sweet naturally. So to make it taste good, you don’t have to try hiding and adding lots of other unhealthy ingredients. Carob already tastes good. It’s also good to know that if you are lactose intolerant, carob would be the perfect alternative.

Carob isn’t loaded with caffeine neither. It is satisfying and has a healthy content of natural potassium, iron, B vitams and three times more calcium than chocolate has. I am not saying not to have chocolate, but it has to be raw without any of the other ingredients. I couldn’t eat it like that, as I already said, it is very bitter, so I go for the substitute carob any time. It is purer than chocolate as we don’t have to add anything else to it and in short, it has purer nutritional value.

Filed under: RAW & Organics on December 3rd, 2011 | No Comments »

Diplomacy or honesty – you always have choice

Posted by Viola Woolcott

Honesty is the best policy. Lying is bad! Isn’t that what we have been taught since birth? We’ve grown older and are supposed to be wiser, but in some sensitive situations we realize that we have to zip it. We have to keep quiet. That we have to shut up. Simply keep stumm!

There are a lot of courses and evening school out there, but funny enough the visiting rate on body language classes where we could learn about lies and deception are the once that hardly anyone books. We just don’t seem to want to learn the truth.

These days it is so bloody easy to get away with lies. They are shown openly in e-mails, mobile phone videos, networks, tv and there is hypocrisy and HA! – what about the double talk. YouTube even shows how government officials contradict themselves over and over again. Blatant lies. But do you care really?

Lets face it, almost everything we are shown, everything we are told in the media as well as mainstream education is lies. From banal, breathtaking to personal and public. Lies! And we are the ‘Lie Catchers’!

Somewhere right now someone is lying about something. Maybe about plans for the day or maybe tonight. Someone may be discovering that their other half has been having an affair. Kids bunking off school. WAKE UP! WATCH THE NEWS! And I assure you someone will be lying to you. Lies are all around us. Corporations, government, pharmaceuticals, doctors, and YES, also the public.

Close relationships issues are handled with diplomacy. Politeness. They can have detrimental consequences. Especially those in high stake situations.

When we have to share certain delicate info that might offend someone, embarrass another or suggest that someone done wrong or made a choice that was bad, we don’t just say it. Politeness takes over.

Diplomacy and honesty. The dividing line is a thin one. And it is vital to make a choice. Will you be diplomatic? Honest? Candid? Or will you use the truth as a convenience?

To me personally, relationships have to be completely honests. And boy, if you can’t be honest, you are in deep trouble. Diplomacy and lack of honesty can lead to a break in a relationship. Haing said that, being completely honest and speak your mind can also have consequences. So decide carefully. A good mix of the both is a tough choice for some individuals.

You have to be happy, content and at peace with your decision. There are two types of people. The diplomatic type gets very tense and stressed just at the thought of being honest and saying the truth. The honest type gets restless. He will feel frustrated at the thought of going the diplomatic path against his belief. It’s all a matter what’s at stake really. And there can be a lot at stake. Just imagine you speak the truth and tell your boss where to go. He’s very unlikely to thank you for your honesty and give you a pay rise. No doubt, you would loose your job. Or would you be honest enough to tell your friend what you really hate about him? Would you risk to loose the friendship and accept the consequences? If you can without regret, than do it. Than you are an honest.

Lets look at the once who are diplomatic. Why do we do it? Even when we know the truth? Diplomatic are the once who are concerned about hurting anyone. Even themselves. Diplomacy is a quick fix. It’s short lived. To me it’s the long-term benefits and the permanent gains that make me personally a honest person. With me it is what you see is what you get. And I like it that way.

If you want to be honest yourself, you may ask yourself why you are scared of the truth and speaking the truth. You may already know the answer. Diplomacy is a device for self protection.

The ego is fragile. The ego doesn’t want insults and criticism. It won’t accept it. Most don’t want to speak the truth on their homes and at their jobs. They don’t want to rock the boat. They don’t want confrontation.

But ask yourself if you rather live a superficial or a rich and meaningful life. The difference between the two is determined whether you are diplomatic or honest. So what will you choose?

Intersting links:
Cheating, what would you do if you were faced with this issue?
Are you afraid of commitment?

Filed under: Mind | Body | Spirit on December 2nd, 2011 | No Comments »

Operation Removing Routine

Posted by dare2baware

Hey, I don’t know about you, but I desire changes in my life. Lots is happening and I am in the ‘strong’ process of removing my routine lifestyle.

Many of you may think it is just a matter of changing the things you are doing at the time, but to me it is a matter of changing my perception. Changing the way I see things at the time when I do things and also how I feel about the things I am doing.

It’s going to be tough. But it will also be an exercise and process where I have to be more conscious of what I am doing and when I am doing it. It certainly will be a time for learning, letting go, moving on ad a time to imaging as well as dream.

Just imagine how with to much routine you are only using a very small part of your brain, which for sure has unlimited potential. So lets touch all those fresh untouched areas of unlimited potential and disregard all routines.

Filed under: Mind | Body | Spirit on December 1st, 2011 | No Comments »

Mistletoe may be hard to get in future

Posted by Viola Woolcott

We all know mistletoe. One of Britain’s best known plants. The christmas crop of mistletoe concern is growing though and who knows, but mistletoe may be hard to get in the future.

Mistletoe grows on a great number of trees such as lime, poplar and hawthorn. Cider apple trees are definately the semi-parasites favourite host. Most of mistletoe we purchase grows in traditional orchards from counties like Gloucestershire, Worchestershire, Herefordshire and of course Somerset.

Mistletoe loves open areas. That’s where it grows best. When it grows outside the orchards you will find it most commonly in parklands on limes. In recent times we have seen an increase in growth in those habitats.

Most variety of the annual crop comes from traditional orchards. Unfortunately they are disappearing at a fast rate and with them the knowledge of harvesting techniques and management. When mistletoe disappears, so will a great number of wildlife. As far as Christmas goes, we may end up buying more expensive mistletoe for our christmas kisses from overpriced European countries.

Question is, why do we kiss under the mistletoe anyway? Is it just tradition that comes the Goddess of love? Or does it come from the ancient belief that the plant is the plant of fertility?

How does the story go? “The Mistletoe Etikette”. Whilst kissng under the mistletoe, the man removes a berry. When the last berry is gone, there will be no more kissing under the mistletoe.

Sneaking a kiss under the misletoe is christmas tradition. But what about the plant itself? Mistletoe is vital for wildlife. There is a bird called “Mistle Thrush”, and it is named after the white berries as it has a weakness for them. For the mistle thrush mistletoe is a very valuable winter food. The thrush also spreads the seeds to other trees through droppings or wiping their beak.

So, mistletoe is threatend. And so are the christmas kisses in the future.

Records for mistletoe are low in Sussex.

So here is my suggestion:

Buy mistletoe only from british sustainable managed sources OR why not grow it in your own garden?

Filed under: Environment | Green Issues on November 30th, 2011 | No Comments »

Moderate versus binge-drinking

Posted by Viola Woolcott

I know, sometimes it’s nice to have the odd one, but lets face it, drinking can be bad for us. We are all aware of the fact. But on the other side, drinking to little can be risky also.

To much drinking can be dangerous. It can have serious effects on your health. But as usual, research suggest now that drinking to little isn’t good for you either.

Moderate alcohol consumption is said to lower risks for many dreaded diseases like stroke, heart disease, dementia, gallstones and diabetis. Some research even goes as far as to say that the answer to those horrible menopausal symptoms could be conquered with a six-pack.

None of us want to go to a rehabilitation centre, so the keyword here is all in “moderation”. Now you probably want to know what it means this “in moderation”. Heavy consumers are far more likely to die from certain diseases than “moderate” consumers. Well, we all die one day, even the once who don’t drink at all.

So here we go. Some research states one drink per week. Other research gives its ‘ok’ to up to four drinks daily. The amount certainly varies with different research.

In more than one study they found that non-drinkers get sick and die earlier than moderate consumers. I guess I be one of the ‘get sick – die earlier’ candidates as I don’t drink at all. Pretty shocking, I know.

“You get this protective effect no matter what you drink, wine, beer or liquor”, says Karen Scheuner a nutrition therapist. Beaujolais, King Kobra or even Absinthe, it’s all ‘good’ for you. (Yes, in moderation)

Karen Scheuner also says that “the benefits don’t increase with amount”. If you consume more than 4 drinks a day, you loose the health benefits.

Another study back in summer claims that females who consume one drink a day and males who consume two drinks a day are 23% less likely to suffer with Alzheimers than non-drinkers. On the contrary, heavy drinkers of 3-5 drinks of alcohol daily are at a higher risk of getting Alzheimer’s disease. So you see, the risks compare to moderate consumption are much higher.

Drinking 1-3 alcoholic drinks a day can lower the incidences of diabetes by as much as 33-56 percent. BUT exceeding your alcohol consumption by more than 3 drinks a day has as much as 43% higher incidences of diabetes. (Study – Annals of Internal Medicine)

The “European Respiratory Society Annual Congress” found that non-drinkers and heavy drinkers are far more at risk to develop asthma. Nearly by one and a half times compare to moderate drinkers, which are defined to be drinkers of between 1-6 alcoholic drinks each week. Interesting enough, abstainers are said to be faced with higher asthma risks, even topping the heavy consumers.

Here are the odds I don’t like at all. It’s been said in a study a few years back that drinking at least one alcoholic drink a day lowers the risk of a certain type of kidney cancer by 30%. The risk is higher for non-drinkers. Amazing really. The same study warns that light, moderate or heavy alcohol consumption is linked with higher rates of breast, liver, oral and esophageal cancer amongst other type of cancer. A bit off-putting really.

For more than 12 years, the New England Journal of Medicine tracked over 22,000 men. They found that those who on a regular basis consumed one drink a week had a lower stroke risk than did the non-drinkers.

In the Journal of Urology over 120,000 men where tracked. The men who regularly consumed 1.3 oz of alcohol on a daily basis had a much lower risk than non-drinkers in developing prostatic hyperplasia, with symptoms like incontinence and a wide array of other urinary issues.

Moderate drinkers face lesser risks than non-drinkers for macular degeneration. osteoporosis, arthritis and death itself.

because you are entitled to my opinion:
This for sure gives us something to think about and to re-value our drinking habits. As I said, personally I do not drink alcohol anymore for over three years now and have no intention of changing my mindregardless of the above research.

Food for thought:
Always remember — Alcohol is a mood enhancer. Alcohol is addictive! It’s a drug! NO matter how you dress it up!

Filed under: Health and Diet on November 30th, 2011 | No Comments »

Staying Healthy Without The Flu shot – Part II

Posted by Viola Woolcott

This is a follow up on my previous posting Have you been chemically raped?

My personal belief. What you can do:

Regardless of what they say, the sun is a healer. Over the sunny winter days, make sure you get plenty of sunshine. If you care to do some research, you will find that the winter flu is quite often linked to vitamin D deficiency, which indicates lack of sunshine! So out you go on sunny days. And for the once that live in areas without sunshine take a GOOD cod liver oil. Some places offer sunshowers. Sunshowers are NATURAL tanning beds. A good alternative, but as I said, if you can, go out and soak up the sun. NO matter how cold it is. I go out in any weather. I’m not a sun seeker, so the winter sun is for me. It’s gorgeous. There is a particular spot at the beach where I walk my dog Shadow. It’s a real little suntrap. We always stop and I sit on the bench for a while with my eyes shut and soak up what the sun has to offer.

They say that raw unpasteurized milk is abundant in Vitamin D. I’m a vegan, so milk is off the menu for me. I did have it from a local dairy farm in my area some time ago now, and remember the nice creamy taste. My reason for drinking it was more that it was raw and unpasteurized though.

How are we doing for exercise? Exercise is another key to your health, so exercise, exercise, exercise, exercise, exercise. I’m not talking about going to the gym and straining yourself with something you may resent, I’m talking about getting your body moving with a nice yoga class, Pilates, cycling, trampolining, swimming (watch out for the chlorine), and yes, not to forget walking. When you move your body, you are less likely to get ill. Exercise boosts the immune system and keeps you healthy!

Now we are getting to the diet. Immune boosting foods are important. How are we doing with garlic? I eat garlic at least twice a day. I know, it is smelly, but I have so much of it that I’m beyond smelling. Vegetable and fruit juices are full of Vitamin C and are great in boosting your immune system. Have you tried green juices? How about broccoli, celery, cucumber and cabbage? Believe you me, it tastes better than you think. Give it a try. With live foods you for sure are on the way to stay healthy.

Sugar = hmmmm…. I know, this is a tough one for most. Sugar is hidden in almost everything. Sugar causes diseases. It supresses the immune system. Sugar is not to be found in my cupboards. Instead I use agave syrup, stevia or maple syrup. Sometimes raw honey, but honey isn’t my favourite, besides, it is to sweet for me. There are alternatives, so check up on it. Sugar is completely unnecessary. We do not need to consume sugar ever!

Stress, emotional stress and also anger supress the immune system. Book a yoga class. Join a meditation evening. Get interested in natural therapies. I have a BIG interest in plant medicines. Plants can transform stress. Plant medicines support you. They help you live abundant health, not only of the mind, but also physical.

I know, sleep is said to be the little brother of death, but in this case sleep is important, so get plenty of it. Lack of sleep leads to a supressed immune system. Which leads to disease. Disease leads to illness. So listen to your body when it’s speaking to you.

The Flu Shot, Have You Been Chemically Raped? – Part I

Sunscreen Chemicals

HPV Gardasil Vaccine Deadly

Filed under: Health and Diet on November 24th, 2011 | No Comments »

The Flu Shot – Have you been chemically raped? – Part I

Posted by Viola Woolcott

Year after year we are told to get the flu shot so we don’t have to spend the winter feeling awefully bad. The elderly especially are warned that without the shot their health could be in serious trouble. And why am I not surprised that the flu shot is even offered to our children? Where is the evidence that the flu shot actually works? That it guarentees a more ‘healthy’ winter? In fact, the flu shot causes far more harm than most realize.

Do flu shots work? Because you are entitled to my opinion, I will give you a few reasons why not to have the flu shot.

Here we go:

There is NO evidence that the flu shot is of benefit. Neither to the elderly, who may already have a lowered immune system, nor to our children. Our kids bodies should be kept healthy and not chemically raped!

Also, if you have the shot, it won’t protect you from the many different strains of flu anyway. So if you had the shot, you will still be prone to catch a different strain. Just an example, in 2004, “The National Vaccine Information Center” announced that the strain that was given that particular year did not ‘protect’ the majority of injected people, as the vaccine didn’t contain the strain that caused the major outbreak. Another study (Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews) on children (260,000+) of the ages between 23 month and 6 years (makes me cringe) found that the vaccine is as effective as a placebo. So what’s the point in vaccination anyway?

Flu vaccines as well as ALL other vaccines contain mercury. And we all know that mercury is a heavy metal, which causes serious health issues. Thimerosal, which is made up of mercury, is also contained in the deadly shot.

I really don’t expect you to know this, and I do understand that you trust your doctor, and that you believe he just wants your best, but the quantity of mercury that is contained in a multi-dose flu shot is more than 250 times higher than what is legally allowed. Mercury is classified as hazardous waste and mercury toxicity side effects are vast. Here are a few. From depression to anger, memory loss to attention deficit disorder, oral cavity disorder to digestive disorder, anxiety to cardiovascular problems, respiratory issues, thyroid and glandular imbalances and not to forget LOW immune system It is just to many to mention.

It doesn’t stop here. Flu vaccines contain antibiotics. Antibiotics such as gentamicin, polymyxin B and neomycin are added to eliminate ‘stray’ bacteria that may have got into the deadly mixture. Most know that antibiotics destroy the beneficial good friendly bacteria, which we all need for a healthy gut and optimumn health. And how about the fact that antibiotics lower the immunity? And there is also the known fact that antibiotics are one of the causes for Candida. I’m sure we all know a few people (even kids) with Candida overgrowth.

As an emulsifier vaccines contain Polysorbate 80, known to be highly toxic. Polysorbate can dangerously lower your immune system. Fail to protect your system, cause anaphylactic shock, which can be a killer. I’m against animal testing, but research states that polysorbic 80 has caused cancer, reproductive effects and changed the genetics in animals. Polysorbic 80 seriously caused damage on neonatal rats on their reproductive organs, which resulted in infertility. So now explain to me why is it recommended that young girls should be vaccinated?

Lets look flu this year without having to have the extremely toxic and dangerous shot in the dark. at Alzheimers. Growing evidence states that the fu shot causes Alzheimer’s disease. Other ingredients in the deadly cocktail are aluminium and formadehyde. Aluminium and formaldehyde combined with mercury are even more toxic. Not to frighten you, but people who allowed the flu shot for 3 – 5 years are more prone in developing Alzheimer’s. Why would you want to do this to your precious body?

It’s clear to me that with so many potential, dangerous side-effects the flu-shot is completely unnesessary and a total NO NO as it makes no difference anyway. To enjoy amazing health on our planet Earth, we have all we need already. And if you care to digg deeper, you will find that nothing man made is ever needed in order to live a vibrant life and keep away illness. There is so much info out there about powerful ways to keep away influenza.

Staying Healthy Without The Flu Shot – Part II

Filed under: Health and Diet on November 24th, 2011 | 4 Comments »